Sunday Self Indulgence

One of the great things I discovered in the two years I lived in New York was called "Student Discount". Broadway shows at discount. Concerts at discount. I was in love.

The first time I did this, I saw 'Proof'. This was my first time seeing a straight-play, a non-musical. Neil Patrick Harris was in it and so was Anne Heche. From years of going to shows with my mom as a kid, I knew that if you waited outside the stage door after the show, the actors come out and will sign your Playbill and might even take a picture. It was seriously one of my happiest days in NYC. I saw 'Cabaret', a show I didn't like the revival of, twice because it was only $20 and Neil Patrick Harris was in it. I saw 'Urinetown' twice as well because it was one of the funniest and smartest shows ever. I saw Aida with Adam Pascal and Rent with Joey Fatone.

At this time, my love for Neil Patrick was rivaled only by my love for Joshua Bell. Joshua Bell is a classical violinist, only about eight years older than I am, handsome and amazing. I loved him and whenever he had a performance in the city I made sure I was there. He was doing a concert with the New York Philharmonic the weekend of Thanksgiving. Well, I couldn't do that, I would be in Connecticut. Well then I found out about open rehearsals. You could go and watch the orchestra rehearse! He was playing Samuel Barber's Violin Concerto, a piece of music I'd never heard until that day.

It is, to this day, one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard. The first two movements are lovely, with lots of ups and downs. Very lyrical and melodic. But the last movement. That's what I want you to hear. The video obviously isn't Joshua Bell, I couldn't find him doing it on You Tube. I don't know the name of the girl performing in the video, the don't mention her name anywhere, but from reading the comments it sounds like she was the winner of a youth competition. Youth competitions are usually for high school aged students, keep that in mind while you listen.

So, so thankful

I have so much to be thankful for.

Let's start with this guy...

He doesn't always say the right thing, he doesn't always do the right thing and he eats in the middle of the night and gets crumbs all of the floor and counter. But he's my best friend. We laugh together everyday and he loves me, loves me, loves me. And I love him, love him, love him. I watch him with our furry babies and I know that he is going to be a wonderful father. I have never been more thankful for anything, as I am for him coming into my life.

Speaking of furry babies...

there's these two. The only thing that rivals how happy and thankful I am for my husband is how happy and thankful I am for these two. Lordy, I love 'em. They make me smile, they make me laugh, they make me cry. They are our family.

Speaking of family...

I am thankful for them as well. I wish a lot of things about them a lot of the time. Wish they were happier, wish they were healthier, wish we were closer. But they are our family and I am thankful for them. I mean, who and where would we be without our family? I love them regardless of everything else.

Speaking of everything else...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I've never had friends like I have right now. I can't explain how lucky I feel to have found a group of girls that I can trust and count on. Tell things to and know it won't be repeated. Go out and have fun with and laugh and laugh. They make me laugh, they make me smile, and they certainly don't make me cry.

And speaking of being thankful...

(I hope to have a picture on Tuesday. He was very uncooperative at the last ultrasound)

I don't know if I can explain how thankful I am for this Beaner in my belly. I love him already and we haven't even met yet. I am thankful for every little kick and punch, I am thankful for the big basketball belly I am sporting these days. I tear up with I think about how this was our last Thanksgiving just us. That it will be our last Hannukah, last New Year's. Tear up because I'm so excited, and tear up because I'm a nervous wreck. I think about how hard we tried for this Bean. How long we wanted it and how we really were beginning to think it wasn't ever going to happen. And now here we are just about eight weeks away from meeting him. And I am just so, so thankful.

Tuesdays I'm a dork (yes, just Tuesdays)

Did I ever tell you about how I play the clarinet?

We moved to Waterford when I was in the third grade. I had like one friend, wasn't good at academics and subsequently hated going to school. But then I started playing the clarinet.

I started playing the clarinet in the fourth grade. Mrs. McIvor came into our classroom and asked if anyone wanted to play an instrument. I raised my hand and when she asked me what I wanted to play I said clarinet. To this day, I have no idea why.

The girl who took lessons with me was in my class and we clicked right away. My clarinet was called "Claire" and hers was called "Annette". (We were really witty in the fourth grade) She introduced me to her friends and she protected me from the kids who said I looked like a boy or made fun of me for any other slew of reasons. She was awesome and I wanted to be just like her.

All because of that clarinet!! I had friends! I was happy! I was good at something!!!

Middle school and high school that clarinet was my life. It was my reason for being. My reason for getting up in the morning. I sat in that middle school band with over a hundred other kids and stared at the conductor and just wanted to be him. (Minus the bad haircut and really long, hard to spell, very Italian last name) And just when I thought I couldn't love band anymore than I already did, I went to high school and *OMG* marching band. If you've never been in a marching band, I don't even know how to explain it. It made me feel whole. My friends were there. My music was there. My clarinet was there. And I was good at it. And people looked up to me. And that band director? I wanted to be him too. We all did. He was *that* teacher. He had a better haircut, but an equally ridiculous Italian last name, but he was young and energetic and inspiring. We loved him and we wanted to be just like him.

I got to college and I played and played and played. Played in the band, played in the orchestra, played for the musicials, played for the operas, I even played in the jazz band. Played recitals by myself that my friends and family all come for and took pictures and brought flowers. I was in love.

When junior year came and we started taking music education classes I was so excited. But then we did this thing where we went into a school once a week that didn't have a music program and taught some classes. And something didn't feel right. I was worried, so I went to talk to my advisor. Its different for everyone, she said. Everyone adjusts differently, everyone teaches differently, she said. Give it time, she said. I remember walking out of her office with a pit in my stomach. But she was the advisor. She must know best.

Long story short, I should have listened to my gut. My student teaching started off strong. I loved my elementary placement. Loved the teacher I was with and loved those little darlings. The high school placement on the other hand was a disaster. The teacher hated me and thought that I was incompetent. She wouldn't let me do anything and when she did she embarrassed me in front of the students. I hated her. I hated those kids. I hated being there.

But it was what I went to school for. It was all I knew. So I trucked on and few years later I got a job.

At first I loved it. I got there early. I left late. I loved the little darlings and I loved my job.

But now? I get there on time. I leave on time. I do like most of the darlings, but I don't love my job.

Tuesday nights I have band and I get to play my clarinet. I now have two clarinets, one that I call Claire and one that's Annette. I love band. I love the cheesey music and I love having that feeling that I am good at something. I love knowing that I am important to the group and that people take me seriously. I love the comrodery and the friends and the familiarness of it all.

I was born to play the clarinet, but I'm not sure that I was born to be a teacher.

I love Tuesdays and I love to play the clarinet. I just wanted you to know.

Sunday at the Movies

So a friend and fellow music teacher recently opened my eyes to YouTube. I know, how sad that I didn't know about YouTube. I mean, I knew about it, I just never investigated it. It's wicked cool, friends!!

Then I was thinking about all the semi-cool, semi-lame things that I loved when I was a kid and still love now. And then I was thinking about how I can teach all of these semi-cool, semi-lame things to The Beaner because for a least a few years he'll think I'm the shit. And then I was thinking about how I can teach you all about these semi-cool, semi-lame things because you are at my mercy and will read whatever I write.

Call it 'Sunday at the Movies'. Call it 'A Few of My Favorite Things'. Call it a bit of self indulgence.

First up, Annie. My brother, sister and I watched this movie constantly. We knew it word for word for word. I know all the characters, all the lyrics, all the funny one liners. My sister and I loved "Its a Hard Knock Life" the best because, quite honestly we thought we had a hard knock life. We loved the line "Santa Claus we never see, Santa Claus what's that, who's he?"

Joy

My greatest joy today came from watching my two furry babies play in the piles of leaves in our yard. They ran and chased each other and were so, so happy. Even though Gordo used the leaf blower and I raked to get those leaves into nice piles, the more they ran and frolicked the more we laughed and smiled. Yes, I think they actually frolicked. It was wonderful afternoon with my family.

Things you didn't want to know but I'm going to tell you anyway

A few days ago my friend and fellow blogger, VAM, gave me an award called:

Now I'm suppose to link back to her, but I don't know how, I'm suppose to ask other people to do the same, but I don't really have any other blogger friends, and I'm suppose to write seven things about myself. So I'll tell you to visit VAM at www.seethepositive.blogspot.com ,and here are seven things about me that you probably didn't want to know, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

1. I am a music teacher, but I'm not really feeling it lately. I spent six and a half years of higher learning playing clarinet and learning to be one of the teachers I had in school. I wanted to be a high school band director and after student teaching decided that wasn't for me. I loved my elementary student teaching placement and felt that was my calling. And now, eight years later I don't know what happened. Is it the lousy teaching conditions and lack of support? Is it the poorly behaved students that give me heart palpations? Is it that everyone told me in high school that I would be a music teacher so I just ran with it because I didn't know what else to do anyway? I just don't know. I'll get back to you.

2. I love that I finally have friends I can count on. There's friends that are just there and there are friends you can count on. I love that I have friends I can count on.

3. I love, love, love our dogs. I want people to stop telling me that they will get shafted when the baby comes. I'm not a moron, I certainly know things will change. However that doesn't mean we will forget about them, or not love them. The more people tell me that they will be kicked to the curb, the angerier I get and the more anxiety I get. I have better things to lose sleep over.

4. I love Christmas music. Every year around this time I wonder to myself if its too early to start listening. I always try for Thanksgiving as the cut off, but it doesn't always happen. I won't lie, I've listened to a few already.

5. I am loving being pregnant. As of this weekend, I have nine weeks until my due date and everything has been great. A few vomits early on, little bit of heartburn, but seriously nothing awful. I feel bad for people like my sister in law who was sick as a dog everyday for forty weeks. I love the kicks, I love the hiccups, I love the belly, I love hearing his heartbeat and I love seeing his blurry picture on the ultrasound.

6. I don't understand why dental hygentists insist on talking to you and asking you questions while they are cleaning your teeth. Your hands are in my mouth, lady!

7. I love this blog. I know it goes unattended sometimes, but I love having it as a place to go and write about stuff and show pictures of things that I love. I love that people really do read it.

Three years

If you can't see it, the card says "Wife"

So, I was all set to write this really great blog post about my husband. About how we met on JDate, and the first time I met him I went to his house not thinking that he could have been a serial killer or rapist. About one of our first dates when we went to see X-Men 2 and I looked over at him and thought to myself that I could look at him for the rest of my life. I was going to write about how we got engaged after just 6 months, and how after I called my mother to tell her, she drank a bottle of wine and cried herself to sleep. About how we got Rex the summer before we got married, and how we felt it made us complete. I was going to tell you about how I choked on a piece of steak at our rehearsal dinner and we missed the entire dinner as I cried in the ER about how I was suppose to get married the next day. And I was going to write about the day of our wedding, how my sister and E and I got manis and pedis and had breakfast with my mom and my sister in law did our hair and after I got my dress on my sister attempted to put cover-up on the tattoo on my back. About how I cried through the entire ceremony, but was still able to soak it all in, see where everyone was sitting, and even see one of my husband's friends walk in late. And the reception where I danced and danced, and I don't even dance. I was going to write about how I never wanted to take that dress off. That I love that dress and wanted to wear it forever. That if I didn't have a belly the size of a basketball I would be wearing it right now. I wanted to tell you how much I love my husband. How we have laughed together every day for the last four and a half years and how I hope my baby looks like him.

I wanted to tell you all of that. But instead I need to tell you this.

Last night for our anniversary, my husband took me to Sonic.

Can I just tell you that I don't think I've been that excited about anything in a really long time.

You don't even need to get out of your car! They bring you your food on ROLLERSKATES!! (We wondered if in the winter they wear ice skates?)

The burger was just so so, but let's over look that.

The tater tots were awesome. Crunchy on the outside, awesome on the inside.

And then there was the Peanut Butter Fudge milkshake. OMG. We were literally scraping it off of the bottom of the cup.

Best. Anniversary. Ever.