Weird

I really wanted to write a post about how John Lennon died 30 years ago today. This morning I even started to map out in my mind what I thought music would be like if he were still alive. Not to mention any number of music greats that died too young; Mozart, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison. But now its just about 8pm, and I just can't put a lot of thought into anything.

I've had a weird day. Sleeping has been hard. Peeing is constant and because the internet has made me afraid to sleep on my back, comfort is little. Let's also not forget the 30 pound dog who takes up so much space on our bed that you'd think she was a Great Dane.

I forgot to set my alarm clock and Gordo waking me up at 6:10 just didn't do it for me. I was exhausted from band last night, concert this past Sunday and the prospect of another concert tomorrow. I put the Christmas playlist on my iPod for the ride to work and when Glee's "Oh Holy Night" came on I started to cry. And I couldn't stop. And I have no idea why. And it was only 7:30am.

School is weird these days. I'm in this weird limbo of being excited that in just a few weeks that awful place will be behind me, and feeling a little bit sad (or is it scared?) at the thought of not being there anymore. People tell me throughout the day that I look cute, or rounder, or starting to waddle, and some people don't say anything at all, and I don't know how to take any of it. Sometimes I'm so busy planning a concert and a talent show that I momentarily forget that I've got another human being inside me. But then I try to bend over or I feel that butt in my ribs, and I quickly remember.

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor for another ultrasound. Both my mother and Gordo will be there. I'm nervous about my mom being there. I can't fault my mother on this one though, everything seems to make me a wreck these days. All that time waiting and wanting and trying. And now, in just about 6 weeks we will have a baby. It is still really hard for me to believe.

Oh yeah, I also cried at the end of Glee tonight. Like really cried, not just teared up.

And that's where I'm at.