Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween


One of the things I love about Halloween is being able to wear these tights. They are so soft and comfy. And cute!

This year we got a grand total of 10 groups of kids at our house. This surpasses last year by 4. Depressing, however it leaves us with all the left over candy. (We are sure to give away all the yucky candy, like Whoppers, to the kids and keep the good stuff, like Butterfinger and Reese's for ourselves.) Rex sat at the door all night and watched for kids. We didn't even need the doorbell, he let us know the kids were there.


I carved a total of 4 pumpkins this year. With the exception of the last one they all were from stencils. I think the attention to detail nurtured my inner OCD. I found it to be really calming and relaxing.
October 13, 2009

October 24, 2009

October 27, 2009

October 30, 2009


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Neediness

One of the things I love about teaching elementary school is the little ones. If I could find a (local) school that was K-3, I would be in heaven. I would love that. I love the neediness of the little ones. I love their eagerness. I love that they aren't afraid to tell you that you are important. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I love about my 4th and 5th graders to. You can talk to them and have an *actual conversation*. But they've lost that neediness, the eagerness, the innocence. Or, perhaps they still have those things, but too wrapped up in wanting to fit in and going through puberty and everything else to show it. The older kids are cool in a different way, but I just eat up that neediness of the little ones. I love the "Can you tie my shoe? Can you zip my jacket? Can I give you a hug?" I love feeling needed. But I suppose, who doesn't?
The other day, a first grader named Tatiana came up to me in the school yard, straight off the bus and embraced me around the legs. I hugged her back, because I always would, and because I so desperately needed that hug. She looked up at me with a big, huge smile and said "I squeezed you tight and you squeezed me tight back." I sure did, I said.
There's a boy in second grade named Anthony. He is always smiling. Always. The kind of smile that makes his eyes squint. On top of which, he's missing 3 or 4 teeth on the top and in their place is a retainer, so he smiles this big Jack o'Lantern grin with a little bit of bling on top of it. I told him that I loved to see him smile and that I was going to call him Smiley. That made him smile even bigger.
There's a couple of girls in kindergarten who have the same sneakers that I have. Black sneakers from Payless. When these girls realized this, they went ape-shit. Every time they see that we are wearing the same sneaks, they tell me and show me and giggle. And they always tell me that they know they are the same because they have a red stripe on the bottom.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Huskies and hot dogs

On Saturday, Gordo and I went to the Pet Show at the CT Expo center. I was in heaven. HEAVEN. I could have stayed there all day. Big dogs, small dogs and dog lovers all around. HEAVEN. *Let it be known that I spent only about $30, not including the ticket and parking. Gordo was proud and shocked by this.*


The woman at the CT Dachshund Rescue let me hold her pup! My next dog will be either a rescued dachshund or a rescued greyhound.


Our very own Jonathan the Husky. He's so handsome in his new bandana. It was handmade by a woman who owns an internet company. I think I may be buying from her again.

Monday, October 19, 2009

How I know its Fall

**Going forward I am going to refer to my friends and family by using cute nicknames and not initials. Any concerns can be directed to managment**

How many times a year can you scrape ice of your windshield at 7am, and have it be 57 degrees at 4pm?? The leaves are so beautiful. The smells are so beautiful. The food is so tasty. Football is awesome and I love fall.


I love these F-ing things. The peanut butter to chocolate ratio on these is amazing. So creamy. So yummy. Luckily for my weight, you can only get these a few times a year, Halloween being one of those times. I heart them.


Newington does this thing where if you rake your leaves down to the curb and put them in a big pile, the will come around once or twice during the season to vacuum them up. An excellent idea, although I have no idea where the leaves end up going. I don't know what it is about those leaves, but something draws my Rex to them. Without fail, he pees on every pile of leaves. Every. Single. Pile. He does it every year. Nutcase.


My Rex is putting on his Winter Blubber, as Gordo calls it. We think he may have actually hit the 80 pound mark. He's become a bit of, well, a horse. This is the time of year when the grass is perpetually wet and muddy and Rex will inevidably track paw prints all over our cream colored carpeting. It also means that when you have something he wants he will do whatever he needs to, to get hold of his possesions, thusly leaving paw marks all over you. In this case I was holding his two favorites, red ball and squirrely.

In other news...

We got Rex a new harness yesterday. When I told the Debinator that it has a fleecyness on the inside, she laughed and told me I was cute. But seriously, the old harness rubbed on his side and his hair was beginning to chafe. Chafe I tell you! There is no way on this earth I will let my pup get a bald spot on his side. As added incentive, in the summer it would rub his "arm pits" and he would get like a rope burn. Listen, until we are blessed with human children, Rex will be treated as the spoiled child. And not for nothing, I think the new harness is quite stylish.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

L

Three years ago today L asked me to marry him, just a short six months after we met.
He's still pretty alright. I'll try and keep him around.

Woman vs Man vs Food


I'm sure this is shocking, but L and I love food shows. On the Travel Channel is a show called Man vs Food. The man, Adam Richman, travels around the country trying to break food records set in various restaurants. The 4 pound blueberry pancake is one of my favorites (he didn't finish it) and the cheeseburger the size of a frisbee is memorable as well. Usually he'll find some local schmoe to challenge him and see which of them can eat this ridiculous amount of food. So, L read somewhere that they were going to be taping the show at a hot dog joint called Woody's in downtown Hartford this past Friday, and he was going to have lunch there to check it out. Then Friday morning he saw on Hartfordcourant.com that they would actually be shooting at Doogie's in Newington, also a hot dog joint and much closer to our house. Adam Richman was set to be there between 4:30 and 5:30, so L went to the gym early and he and I met there at 5. Neither of us had been to this place before, and when I say the place is tiny it is an understatement. So we stood in line, outside in the 40 degree weather, for about 40 minutes and waited to get into Doogie's. We finally get in and its about 5:30 and we find out that Adam's not even there yet. People are packed in. PACKED in. So we order our hot dogs, L's with grilled onions, mine with cheese. L got sweet potato fries, I got onion rings. We get our food and we stand there, because there's only about 5 tables and people were just sitting there. So finally some woman comes out and says that unless you are eating, you need to leave because it is a fire hazard. But these people had one little bite of their hot dog sitting there and claimed they were still eating even though that one bite had been sitting there for 30 minutes. Then, because no one got up and different woman came out and said that everyone needed to get out. Unless you were in line, you needed to leave and they would pick people at random to come back in. So L and I once again stood in the cold, this time eating our hot dogs, sweet potato fries and onion rings. Not so enjoyable. Finally, finally, finally, Adam shows up. In a grimy gray van, laying down in the back seat as if he was Brad Pitt. They pull in the parking lot and he lays in the back for a while and then finally, finally, finally gets out. He waves and smiles and says thank you for coming out and watching the show. It turns out he wasn't doing a food challenge at all... he was just there to.. I don't even know, eat a hot dog and maybe talk about the restaurant a bit on his show. Very disappointing, especially since L was all reved up to challenge Adam to a hot dog eating contest of some sort since he had just come from the gym and was set to eat.
So to recap, we spent an hour and a half at Doogie's on the Berlin Turnpike, majority of which was out in the cold. We each ate a cold hot dog and sides. We saw Adam Richman of Man vs Food and he didn't even eat anything. And to top it off he looked a bit like my high school band director. An interesting Friday night.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Paranoia


Years ago I was consumed by feelings of worry. Worried that people didn't like me. Worried that I wasn't smart enough. Worried that I wasn't good enough. Worried. Call it paranoia, call it anxiety, call it a case of the crazies, call it what you want, but what an awful way to go through the day. Whether real or not, I really felt like these fears were based in truth. As time passed and various components came in and out of my life, these feelings subsided and I became a whole person again.
Now here I find myself, again, in this state of worry. However, this time is a bit different. I am X-many years older, which means I am (theoretically) X-many years wiser. I have stressors all over the place right now. Trying to make a baby is more anxiety and depression and stress creating than I could have ever imagined. It brings out feelings of inadequacy that I haven't felt in years. Very trying on yourself, your marriage, your work life. My job is, as previously discussed, not the place I wish it was. It also is not the place that it once was. I used to love school. It was the only place I wanted to be. As the years passed and I gained wonderful things in other areas of my life, school became more of "a job". This year, more than ever before, I feel like I don't belong there. I feel like I don't fit in. Those things are based in truth; it is how I feel. But I also feel like people don't like me anymore. Which sounds childish, but it is how I feel. More than ever before, I feel like I am "just the music teacher". I feel very much that I don't matter. Not from administration, but from co workers. I feel like I walk down the hallway and people don't look at me, let alone talk to me. Are those things based in truth? Maybe, maybe not. But I feel it, and it affects me. I worry about my brother and his health, both mental and physical. But even more than him, I worry about how his health affects my father, and subsequently his own mental health. I worry about my husband, and how his basket-case of a wife affects him. I worry that he doesn't know how much I appreciate and love him. I worry that he doesn't know that he keeps me on my feet.
I worry.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

My boys.


This was taken in August at the West Hartford Reservoir, one of our favorite places to walk. Just over 3 miles, the hike goes around the entire reservoir. It is shaded in spots, sunny in others. Flat in some spots, hilly in others. We've seen turtles, snakes, birds, chipmunks. Its a beautiful walk. I love this picture.