Friday, September 25, 2009

The Black Hole

School. The place where I work. The place where I go to make money. Because dog biscuits don't grow on trees, you know.

After an especially long and tiring week, I realized that there hadn't been a blog post devoted to my place of employment, other wise known as, The Black Hole. I also realized, after taking a nap at 4pm almost everyday this week, that hating your job is exhausting. While I would love to show visual proof of every reason I hate my job, I don't think most of my colleagues would like to have their picture taken for my sadistic pleasure. On top of which, their caddy, unprofessional, disrespectful personalities really wouldn't come through in a photo. Visually they really look like ok people.
Being the music teacher definitely comes with perks. No testing is a big one. Standardized tests are the worst thing ever for a child's self esteem. Not to mention the piles and piles of paperwork from continuous testing throughout the year. However, it also has its down sides. Not being considered a Real Teacher is a big one for me. "Why do you have to go to Open House? You're not a Real Teacher." "What do you mean you have a certification? You're not a Real Teacher." Yes, those are real quotes from Real Teachers. I aspire to be a Real Teacher someday. Oh, someday.. Then there's the not being acknowledged factor. Also huge for me. I feel like I could dance on my head and it would A) not be noticed B) someone would look and say condescendingly, "How nice." or C) I would get reprimanded for not dancing on my head correctly. I'm not someone who particularly likes walking down the hall and being ignored, or having a class or kids dropped off at my room and the teacher doesn't even acknowledge my presence. Maybe its me. Maybe I've got the problem?
And then there's My Room. Ah, yes, My Room gets capital letters because it is just that awe inspiring. Let's set the stage. My Room is next to a boy's bathroom used primarily by boys between the ages of 5 and 8. There is no ventilation in said bathroom, so it tends to smell like a combination of mold and piss. An especially nice smell in mid June. My Room is technically not a classroom at all, it is really a basement storage area that was converted into a "classroom" many years ago when the neighborhood population decided to not use birth control, like, ever. A picture is worth a thousand words, so here it is. My Room.

This is the wall of Patriotic songs. Because I actually teach them about our country! Holy Shit!


This is my desk and computer. These are important. It took my 4 years to get an actual desk. Prior to that I had a falling apart table with construction paper on top to cover the rust. It took me 7 years to get the computer. Yep, you did the math right, I just got it this year. Oh to be a Real Teacher...


These are the posters of concerts and performances we've done that I'm proud of. While few people notice, I have accomplished quite a bit in my time in The Black Hole.


This is my door. On the door I have created a collage of pictures of dogs that I have collected from various dog magazines. It makes me smile and it makes me happy. It also is a great thing to use when a kid is getting on my nerves, but not too too out of control. "Why don't you go over and count how many dogs are on my door." They actually do it.


This is the wall that's falling apart. As you can see, the craftmanship is really high quality, so why it would be falling apart I'm not sure. Nevertheless, the kids sit and pick at the paint and cement, which in turn makes a huge mess on the floor that the custodian always seems to forget about. Once, a kid actually pulled a rock off there. A rock a little smaller than a tennis ball. Yes, seriously.


This is the mold that lives behind my stereo. Isn't it pretty? Going forward, I think I will call it Goldie Moldy.


This is what keeps me sane, despite The Black Hole and My Room. (I say "sane", of course, very loosely)


And this too, of course.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

He's a Jew




All he needs now is a Bar Mitzvah.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

For Deb


Why I blog.
I knew there were a few reasons that I decided to start a blog, but when I actually sat down and thought about it, there was actually a bunch. So, here goes.

*E* I think the blog blossomed from my friend E. She started a blog a while back. She would comment on things going on in pop culture and in the world. It was cool to hear her take on things. Then she started sending emails to her close group of friends sharing things of a much more personal nature. I loved that. (I miss those emails. What happened to them??) As a response to those emails, I started emailing E telling her about things going on in my life. Even just small things, like a snake we saw on a hike. It was not only fun, but inspiring to think back on the day and all of the beauty (and sometimes sadness) it entailed. Writing it down (typing, really) made it somehow seem more real.

*Friends* Friends are something I've never been very good at. No, let me rephrase that. GIRLfriends are something I've never been good at. Actually, let me try one more time. I've never been good at picking good girlfriends. Yes, I think that's accurate. I think I'm a good friend. Actually, I'd venture to say that I'm a great friend. However, that fact tended to bite me in the ass in years past. Looking back to high school, I'm fairly certain those girls were only friends with me because I had a car. Same held true for college too. Girls who wanted me to drop everything to be at their beck and call were my forte, really. Mostly because 99.99% of the time, I would drop everything. I guess because I didn't want them to not be my "friend". Awful really. So in the last year or so, I have come to realize that I now, at 31 years old, have a group of girlfriends who I really believe are my friend, not because of what I can do for them, but for what we can do for each other. Having come to this realization is huge for me. And I want these girls (you know who you are) to get to know me better, cause I'm not always the best at sharing.

*Free Therapy* I'm not ashamed to say it, I went to therapy for a bit before and after college. There are some really, really crappy therapists out there, but if you find the right one, I think it is so, so wonderful. Sometimes it is just really nice to talk to someone who is uninvolved. However therapy is one darn expensive conversation. One of the things I learned in therapy is that a lot of times it is easier to get things out by writing them down, rather than saying it. It is very cathartic to get things off your mind, off your chest. And sometimes it is even more freeing to write things down, even if, or especially, if it isn't intended for anyone to read. It is such a wonderful feeling to write down the story of something that just happened, and sit back and let out a deep breath. Like the anger has left you for a moment. *Ahh*

*Babies* Everyone who reads this blog knows that L and I are trying to make a baby. Everyone knows we haven't had good luck thus far. Everyone knows that I am stressed out just a bit. Once we are pregnant, I will use this blog to chronical the pregnancy. And of course afterwards to show off pictures of Baby Gordon. :o)

So that's why I blog.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Amazing

I saw the video tonight on another blog that I follow, Orcinus Orca Collective. I found it so amazing and touching that I was actually pointing at the computer screen saying "L, you've got to see this!" and "Oh my God!" and "Look! look!". While they are mostly known for Sea World and doing fancy tricks, Orcas are actually one of the greatest predators in the ocean, second only to the Great White Shark. Orcas feed on seals and penguins and other animals about the size of dogs. L and I were just fearful that the dog would eventually jump into the water. I'm actually amazed that he didn't.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Julia Child would be proud


My first quiche! Where did all this cooking and baking come from you ask? I haven't the slightest idea. I've always liked to cook and bake, but it wasn't something I loved and it certainly was never something I researched on the internet. But here we are, many baked goods and one quiche later. I think I put a bit too much broccoli, but other than that, it was quite tasty! L liked it because A) I used Egg Beaters instead of real eggs, B) it contained bacon and C) I was able to convince him that it was at least slightly healthy. He told me to put the knife next to it in the picture so that people would understand its size. Excellent idea.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Attempt # 13

Beginning of the school year brings lots of firsts. First day of school. First full week of school. First long weekend. First time I meet the new kindergarteners. First time meeting the new principal. First set of lesson plans. First paycheck.
September is bringing lots of continuations this year as well. Starting my seventh year of teaching, in this same, lovely school and trying to make the most of it. Continuing to try at lots of things. Continuing to try and be optimistic about all aspects of life, love my husband and dog, family and friends. Continuing to try and love what I have, and not waste time wishing and stressing over what we do not. Continuing to try.
I love fall and the crispness in the air. I love seeing the leaves change and I love football season. I love this time of the year, when it is too cold for shorts, but you can still wear flip flops. Its too cold for short sleeves, but you don't need a coat. I love puffy vests and colorful winter hats that look like they were knitted by someone's grandmother. I love apple picking and pumpkin patches and the smell of those things baking in the oven.
I have found a new fondness for baking and I have no idea where it came from. Luckily for L and I, I have friends to taste these baked goods, as more sweets in the house is not what either of us need. In honor of First Paycheck of the Year I made Kit Kat Bars, a Paula Deen recipe I found on the Heidi Bakes site. My friends at school were impressed. D~ I never did get your review, is it a keeper?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Hot fudge and husbands


My husband came home tonight and from the stairway said to me, "What's wrong with the bookcase?" Huh? "What happened to the bookcase downstairs?" Thinking that Rex had finally decided that marking his territory indoors is a good idea, I told my father, who was on the phone, that I would call him back and ran to see what was up. And there on the bookcase was not only a sunflower bouquet, but also a hot fudge sundae from Stew's. Finally my (not so) subtle cues for spontaneity and little gestures finally paid off. I love my husband. :o) (And no, I don't think he's just trying to get on my good side...)

By the way, if you have not tried the hot fudge sundae at Stew Leonard's, you are totally missing out. Real hot fudge, not the syrup stuff and real, homemade (store made) whip cream. So worth it. I'd show you a picture, but it lasted all of about 30 seconds.