For Deb

Why I blog.
I knew there were a few reasons that I decided to start a blog, but when I actually sat down and thought about it, there was actually a bunch. So, here goes.

*E* I think the blog blossomed from my friend E. She started a blog a while back. She would comment on things going on in pop culture and in the world. It was cool to hear her take on things. Then she started sending emails to her close group of friends sharing things of a much more personal nature. I loved that. (I miss those emails. What happened to them??) As a response to those emails, I started emailing E telling her about things going on in my life. Even just small things, like a snake we saw on a hike. It was not only fun, but inspiring to think back on the day and all of the beauty (and sometimes sadness) it entailed. Writing it down (typing, really) made it somehow seem more real.

*Friends* Friends are something I've never been very good at. No, let me rephrase that. GIRLfriends are something I've never been good at. Actually, let me try one more time. I've never been good at picking good girlfriends. Yes, I think that's accurate. I think I'm a good friend. Actually, I'd venture to say that I'm a great friend. However, that fact tended to bite me in the ass in years past. Looking back to high school, I'm fairly certain those girls were only friends with me because I had a car. Same held true for college too. Girls who wanted me to drop everything to be at their beck and call were my forte, really. Mostly because 99.99% of the time, I would drop everything. I guess because I didn't want them to not be my "friend". Awful really. So in the last year or so, I have come to realize that I now, at 31 years old, have a group of girlfriends who I really believe are my friend, not because of what I can do for them, but for what we can do for each other. Having come to this realization is huge for me. And I want these girls (you know who you are) to get to know me better, cause I'm not always the best at sharing.

*Free Therapy* I'm not ashamed to say it, I went to therapy for a bit before and after college. There are some really, really crappy therapists out there, but if you find the right one, I think it is so, so wonderful. Sometimes it is just really nice to talk to someone who is uninvolved. However therapy is one darn expensive conversation. One of the things I learned in therapy is that a lot of times it is easier to get things out by writing them down, rather than saying it. It is very cathartic to get things off your mind, off your chest. And sometimes it is even more freeing to write things down, even if, or especially, if it isn't intended for anyone to read. It is such a wonderful feeling to write down the story of something that just happened, and sit back and let out a deep breath. Like the anger has left you for a moment. *Ahh*

*Babies* Everyone who reads this blog knows that L and I are trying to make a baby. Everyone knows we haven't had good luck thus far. Everyone knows that I am stressed out just a bit. Once we are pregnant, I will use this blog to chronical the pregnancy. And of course afterwards to show off pictures of Baby Gordon. :o)

So that's why I blog.