The Sprouting of a Bean

Saturday January 22nd started out like every other Saturday. L went to the gym and came home around 10:30. I had been having contractions during the night and that morning, but not with any regularity so I wasn't too concerned at that point. But my womanly intuition told me that I needed to take a shower, needed to shave my legs, needed to put the nursing night gowns Dee gave me into my hospital bag.

We were all set to leave to go to Stew's and I went to go to the bathroom. Blood. Something wasn't right. "Change of plans" I said to L. I called the on-call doctor from my office who said she didn't think there was anything to worry about but why don't we meet her at the hospital to make sure. We rushed around to get the dogs settled and throw our hospital bags in the car, just in case.

At Labor and Delivery we went into a triage room where a midwife took my vitals and prepared for an internal exam. You are between 2 and 3 centimeter dilated, she said. And it looks like your water broke too. The nurse started to look for a vein for an IV. I said, are we doing this because we think we're staying? She looked at me and said, you're not going anywhere, dear, you're going to have a baby, probably in the next 24 hours. And at 12 noon we were admitted.

They moved us down to the birthing room and we got settled in. How long do you think, L said. Could be 12 hours, could be 24 hours, just got to wait it out, our new nurse Meredith said.

My contractions still weren't regular so at 3pm we started on Pitocin. The contractions came stronger and more regular, but I was dilating slowly. I stayed at 3 cm for quite a while. It seemed like forever. But the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I could see how much it pained L to see me in so much pain. I could see how much it was hurting him to see me hurt. He said, do you want to think about the epidural? Do you want me to get the nurse? And ironically the nurse walked in. If you want the epidural, this is the time to do it. I wouldn't wait much longer than this, she said. So at 7pm the anesthesiologist and his little helpers came in.

Getting an epidural is not fun. Seriously, not fun.

Let's take a step back for a minute. I had gone to the doctor on Thursday. Wasn't dilated. Wasn't effaced. Beaner hadn't dropped. Friday afternoon I went and walked the mall because the doctor said it might help him make his decent. Friday night we went out for dinner and I had spaghetti with sausage because they said spicy might help. So there you have it.

Let's take another step back. We went to the hospital because I was bleeding. Normal, they told me. But it didn't stop. All through my contractions, all those hours, I bled. And bled. Normal, they told me. Now, I've never birthed a baby, but it seemed like a lot of blood. No one seemed concerned, so I tried to go with the flow. (haha).

So its 7pm and I got my epidural and things were better. L got comfy and we watched part of Good Will Hunting and part of Transformers and part of The Dark Knight. At 11pm they checked my progress and I was 8 cm. Yay.

At 1 am the contractions were worse. My mother keeps saying that she doesn't understand how you can push if you can't feel your legs or the contractions. Trust me, I could feel my legs and I could definitely feel the contractions. The nurse came in and checked and Ta-da!! 10cm and fully effaced! Let's get this party started she said. L was asleep and when he woke up the lights were on and people were there. What's happening? What's wrong? Is she in labor? Yes, she's in labor, we are going to start pushing.

The on-call doctor came in and the pushing began. Long story short, there was a lot of "You're not trying hard enough!" and "You need to do better!" and "Stop your crying!" She was lovely and we clicked right away.... grrr. But at 3:15am the Beaner arrived, no longer just a bean. He was a 6 pound, 20 and a half inch long little boy. Michael Benjamin was here. L cried and I cried and we were a family.

My blood pressure was low and I was feeling crappy. I held little Michael while L made calls to the new grandparents. We told them to stay home and come in the morning, and they actually listened.

Michael was all set to go to the nursery for his bath and some tests, and I still felt crappy. They took little Michael and wheeled us to our recovery room. L and slept until they brought Michael back to us around 7am.

Dizzy and light headed, I tentatively held my baby and watched L hold our baby. (It was the first time he ever held a baby!)

Long story short, everyone came and saw the new addition to the families. In the meantime, I couldn't keep any food down and I got up twice to go to the bathroom, and proceeded to pass out both times. Scary for me, probably scarier for everyone else. I was scared to get out of bed, scared to hold my baby. Finally someone wanted to do something and they suggested a blood transfusion. My blood levels were low and it could take over a week to bounce back on its own. (Humm, thought they didn't think I lost a lot of blood??) I wasn't going home light headed and afraid to hold my baby. Blood transfusion it was. And by the next morning I did feel better. And was able to hold my baby. And bond with my baby.

We left the hospital on Tuesday, and here we are. Saturday we woke up thinking we were going for samples at Stew Leonard's and ended up with a baby. Our baby. Our beaner. Michael Benjamin.

The Beaner!

Michael Benjamin arrived on Sunday January 23 at 3:15am. He was 20 and a half inches long and weighed 6 pounds! He's beautiful. I think we'll keep him!!

Preparation

I think our dogs are trying to prepare us for what is ahead.

Let me rephrase that~ Penny is trying to prepare us for what is ahead.

Every night for the last month or so, at 3:30am, she sits at the side of our bed and cries. "Go lie down." I say. And she does, for about 2 minutes. Then she comes back and paws at the bed. "Go lie down." Then she goes out to the living room and wakes up Rex. He in turn growls at her, and gets up off the couch. He sits in the door way of our bedroom and I say "Go lie down." And he does, because he's a good boy. But Penny continues to cry and paw and be a pain in the rear. Finally L says, "Should I take her out? Maybe she has to pee?" And I say that I don't like this habit we are getting into with her. He'll lay in bed for a minute longer and then finally gets up and takes her out. She pees and everyone goes back to sleep.

I don't like that a 30 pound dog is dictating our sleep habits, but I do love my dog.

I also don't like that my husband is enabling our 30 pound dog to dictate our sleep habits. But that's a different story all together, isn't it.

Snowday

Now that's 2 feet of snow. :o)

Did you know there's over a foot of snow on the ground and there's more still falling? It's awesome. Aside, of course, that L had to go to work, driving in what the news described as "treturous conditions". He made it there in one piece, and I know he will make it home in one piece as well.

After L called me and I knew he was at work safely, I curled up in bed, intent on sleeping until forever. Rexer curled up at my feet, snoring and Penner curled up on L's pillow, farting. Ahhh... my loves.

**The phone rang at 8:30 and 9. But its okay. They were both well intentioned.**

For breakfast I made waffles with chocolate chips that were yummmmmy if I must say so myself, and I must, because Rex and Penny didn't get to have any and can't give input.

And now I sit on the couch in my jammies until whenever I want. Because I can.

Oh and this snowday comes right smack in the middle of my last week at school. Woot.

Weighty issues

A snow day from school on a day where it doesn't actually snow until almost 3 o'clock is the best day ever.

In case you were wondering, I am still not dialated or effaced or any of those things they use use to measure if you are "progressing". However, Dr. Just Graduated From My Residency also assured me that this is not any indication of when I will have my Beaner. Then on the phone I told my husband that I feel a little bit like he wants to stay in there forever. But then I regained reality and assured my husband, The Father To Be, that this is just not possible. He will come out eventually. To which he said, "Get outta my belly!" And we both laughed. I love my husband.

We were talking recently about how I never really had any cravings during my pregnancy. No "I need pizza now or I'm going to kill you" or anything like that. I was into ice tea for a while, and hot chocolate, but those where just passing fads, really. My only aversion has been to my former BFF coffee. Amazing really, I never would have thought I could get through the day without it. I have, however started eating apples and drinking orange juice, two things I never used to eat. I think I've had a Granny Smith apple just about every day for the last 8 months. I love them and it makes the Beaner do a kick boxing routine, and that makes me happy. The orange juice I started to drink because Dee told me it would make The Bean move. At first it worked, but then I think he got tired and said enough already. But I like the taste and oddly it doesn't give me crazy heartburn like it did pre-pregnancy.

Lately though I have been so into sugar. Wednesday night I said to L, I would love some ice cream. To which he replied, no I don't really want any. To which I replied, I didn't ask if you wanted any. And a half hour later he was on his way to the store to buy ice cream (and whip cream and chocolate syrup). Thursday for breakfast I had a hot chocolate and a Boston cream donut. And ice cream after dinner. This morning I made cinnabons, and ate, I think, 4 of them (but not all in one sitting). I also felt compelled to buy a 2 liter bottle of Sprite (we don't ever buy soda for the house, but I've been buying a lot of it lately), I think as of now I have drank half of it. And the night's still young.

But miraculacly I haven't gained any weight in the last three weeks!!

Waiting

Clearly, I would never make it as a *real* blogger.

I try really hard to stay on task. I try really hard to update regularly. I do. Really I do. But sometimes, and I know this will be shocking, I just don't have interesting things to say. At least they aren't interesting to me. And if it isn't interesting to me, how could it possibly be interesting to you?

I am 17 days away from my due date, and as of my last doctor's appointment one week ago, I was not dialated or effaced or any of those things they use to measure if you are "progressing". However Dr. Talks Way Too Softly assured me that this is not any indication of when labor might come on. Which makes no sense to me whatsoever, but she talked way too softly and I couldn't bear to say "What was that?" or "Huh?" one more time.

Our house is full of baby things. A beautiful crib, with beautiful ABC bedding that has been all washed and ready to be slept in. A beautiful dresser full of the cutest little outfits and socks and hats and blankets, all ready to be worn. A beautiful bassinett, with a fitted sheet with little cars on it, all ready to be rolled right next to our bed. A wonderful Pack n' Play, all set up with its changing station and bassinett, all ready for snoozing. A cutie green swing that looks like a little space ship, all ready for swinging. A hospital bag, packed with my pj's, undies and socks, baby clothes and a blanket. And diapers and diapers and diapers, all ready to be pooped in.

And now we have nothing left to do but wait.

This impatient, anxious part of me is very jealous of my dear Dee. She and her husband knew for months, "This is the day we are having our baby." L and I can countdown to my due until the cows come home, but the bottom line really is that the chances of The Beaner actually arriving on that day are slim.

To be honest, I'm really not that worried about actual labor and pain and all of that. I'm not worried about not getting the epidural in time. Really, I'm not. I'm worried about then *when*. When will it happen? What if I don't know that its happening? What if we wait too long and I don't get to the hospital in time? What if it happens next week and I'm at school? I go to bed at night thinking "Will it be tonight?" and then I wake up thinking "Will it be today?" All that not knowing and waiting is maddening.

I go back to the doctor tomorrow. And a doctor I've never met before will check on my *progress*.

And in the meantime, we wait.