Tuesday

I will be eternally jealous of people who are not affected by what others think of them. Are there even such a people? People who aren't bothered by what their mother, friends, co-workers think of them. Does such a person exist? If they do exist, I know that I will never be one of those people. You can say whatever you'd like to try to convince me otherwise, but I know that it will just never be.

***

The days are long and exhausting when you are constantly wondering if that thing you said was said to the wrong person, and will then be repeated to another wrong person, resulting in everyone thinking you are a not a good person.

The days are long and exhausting when you are upset about thing A, which then makes you upset about thing B. And then thing C becomes you getting frustrated and yelling at kids for which it is certainly not their fault. Then that of course turns into thing D, E and F.

But then I get in my car for the 30 minute trek home and Dave Mathews tells me "Sometimes its easy to be myself. Sometimes, I find it better to be somebody else." And I think he's the smartest man alive, and I start to feel better. Then Sheryl Crow say "I wanna soak up the sun. I wanna tell everyone to lighten up." Yea, Sheryl, yea.

And then I get home. And at the top of the steps, my big, black, furry baby smiles and wags his tail at me. And my curly tailed little girl wimpers and jumps at my knees. And I feel a little bit better.

Oh, and my crocuses are blooming.